What I find curious is what men want. For myself, I've fallen in love with any man that's given me those basics. I mean.... they'd eventually stop and that's where the problems arose. But as long as they were, I was theirs. But I've found that I would give men that and they'd be less than interested. So what do men want? *shrugs* Ebony asked a few men this question and they responded. Let's go over their answers and why it's bullshit! :D
Ebony: What does a man really want from a woman or life partner?
Shadan: A lot of times, women get really frustrated with us because they think men are more complex then we are. Men, in general, are simple: We want peace, tranquility and happiness.
The BS: That's not an answer. This is so vague. What brings you peace, tranquility and happiness isn't going to bring the next guy peace, tranquility and happiness. A better, more truthful answer would instead include the things that give him that. I think what annoyed me about this is that prefaces this deceivingly easy answer with saying that what he wants is simple. What if what brings him peace is for his woman to be his kitchen slave and cater to him 24/7? What if what's tranquil to him is his wife joining him in putting hooks in his skin and hanging from the ceiling? What if his happiness is having someone blow him at least 20 times a day? I mean that IS complicated and hard. Not every woman can give him that, there's some that could but not all.Eric: Peace of mind and compliance. Certain things work and some won't. You understand me, I understand you and we both comply.
The BS: Ok, this makes sense but again, very vague. If I understand correctly, he just wants there to be a mutual understanding on all things. However, it's so vague, I'm not totally sure what that even means. Do you want your girl to just automatically understand everything about you and not question anything (hence the compliance)? Or do you want to discuss everything so you two can understand each other even if you don't agree or come to a conclusion with some disagreements? There's a big difference.Michael: I want fulfillment in every facet of my life.
The BS: Ok.... me too. What does that mean for you? While reading this, I was annoyed at how vague these men are. And THEN they always wonder why women don't understand them! Smh. Men always do this where they something that means nothing and us women have to sit back and wonder what they hell the guy meant.Corey: I just want a home-cooked meal. If I can come home to a good meal every night, man....
The BS: My initial thought was "how young is this kid?" I looked to see Corey's age- 26, no kids. Hm. Ok. That makes sense then. I'm not saying that his answer is bullshit, it's just immature. I don't mean that in a bad sense, just in a realistic sense. Because honestly, this just sounds like a kid who's in college who's been surviving on ramen and candy. In that situation, sure, I'd fall for anyone that cooked me real food every night too. So there'd probably be a lot of work.... no, a lot of patience needed in helping him realize what a relationship is and how to navigate.Roger: I want to be myself without being judged. I don't want to have to watch what I say and do. I want to remain the same man I was when you met me.
The BS: At first, I was like YES! A real answer! You want to be able to be yourself! Absolutely! Then I was like well.... he kept harping on that though and added nothing else. Then I reread what he said and thought about what it means. He wants to be himself without being judged- so he feels that he will be judged for being himself... either very insecure or he's come across women who probably had good reason to judge him. He doesn't want to watch what he says and does- Ok, I'm down with that since I feel that way myself. However, my husband has taught me that even though I love saying whatever I want, my words word hurtful and mean. So yeah, I want to say whatever comes to my mind but I didn't want to hurt. He probably has the same problem if people are telling him to censor himself aka he's kind of a dick and doesn't want to change that. He wants to remain the same man he was when you met him- why? Who really ever wants that? When you first meet someone, you SHOULD be on your best behavior. Please, thank you, can we have some intercourse please? You're selling yourself to this person, showing off the money beet that lives inside you. When you get closer, more comfortable, been together longer, that's when it's more- Stop, Shhhh, we're going to fuck right now. That's when you get to be more yourself, a little more ugly. But this person is basically saying he's a dick upfront and wants to keep it that way forever. I then looked back at his bio and it confirmed my suspicions: 46 years old, 3 kids and single. He also mentioned several times that he NEVER wants to marry. Don't worry boo, sounds like no one will ever want to marry you.
Jeffrey: Peace of mind. You have to know that when the football game is on, we can talk later. Understanding. It's hard to come to that happy medium.
The BS: None. This is a real answer. He's saying he wants to compromise. He wants his own time yes, but he will be sure to give you time too. It's not one or the other. He needs you to understand that and not get angry when he's spending some of his time doing what he wants. Just know that after that it's you time. God! He even said he wants a happy medium! Love this one! Looking back, he'd answer all of Ebony's questions pretty perfectly. This one is a keeper.Alvin: I can create happiness on my own. But when we're spending our alone time together, are we arguing? Are you stressing me out? I want peace. Are you helping me relieve stress, or are you the cause of my stress?
The BS: This answer wasn't necessarily bad. It just left me with a raised eyebrow and some questions. The thing is, when you tell someone what you want or don't want in a relationship, you're telling what you have been through in past relationships that you didn't like. So, I'm just wondering what happened in his last relationship. It could be that it just didn't work and they were fighting because they shouldn't have been together and he doesn't want that fighting. It could also be that there were very serious issues and there were very reasonable reasons to fight and argue. Another thing I picked up on.... it could be nothing but rubbed me the wrong way.... Jeffrey's answer was very we. WE can talk later. Understanding (in this context is a we). Happy medium (we-centric). Alvin is very I can, I want, help me, stressing me.... very all about himself and how your actions effect him. I didn't like that. Of course, the question is about him. But that doesn't mean he can't incorporate we. Just sayin.
I didn't incorporate the other questions Ebony asked because I really felt this one question was extremely revealing. And really it ultimately shows that men don't really know what they hell they want. Or at least can't clearly explain it so that they could get it. Maybe these manipulative men who say they told us exactly what they wanted from the get go aren't being lying assholes. Maybe they felt they did and just don't realize that when they talk, gibberish bullshit comes out instead. Which is why women always need a council of friends to decode every action and word and tone to understand what the fuck you guys are even saying. Let's face it. Men are from Mars and Women are from Earth.