Monday, July 14, 2014

My Inexplicable Love Affair with "Fancy"

Who dat who dat? Well, obviously it's I-G-G-Y!

I've heard so many people say how awful this song is. They don't understand how it's getting to be such a huge hit. All I can say is obviously, you haven't heard it enough times!

My initial reaction to Fancy was "WTF is this shit? Is this like a joke rap song?" But then I heard it a few (million) times more. I found myself singing along with it and having a desperate need to hear the song.... I fell in love...

Honestly, the video probably played a small part in me liking it since I easily could dismiss the song until I saw them paying homage to one of my all time favorite movies that totally shaped middle school years- Clueless. *looking out the dirty old window, down below the cars in the city go rushing by. I sit here alone and I wonder why... "Ok, I know what you're thinking... Is this like a Noxema commercial or what?!"

After that, the song started sticking out to me when it came on the radio. Yeah, the beat sounds unfinished... Sure, I'm not sure if I should be somewhat offended (or jealous) by her sounding "black". Ok, even she's obviously trying really hard to sound "black" because she sounds unnatural when she says "who dat" or "dis". Yeah, nothing in the song refers to anything about being fancy. And you're right... the rhyming is weak at best. She can't seem to stop rhyming words with themselves:

You should want a bad bitch like this (huh?)
Drop it low and pick it up just like this

I said, "Baby, I do this 
I thought that you knew this."

Now tell me, who that, who that? 
That do that, do that?

Still stuntin', how you love that?
Got the whole world asking how I does that
Hot girl, hands off, don't touch that
Look at it I bet you wishing you could clutch that
It's just the way you like it, huh?
You so good, he's just wishing he could bite it, huh?

(AZ Lyrics apparently got the white version of this song)

Let's put all that aside- Fancy has an interesting sound. Maybe it's in part to an Australian white female rapper taking the lead. Maybe it's the hard (?) rapping mixed with the feminine, sweet singing of the chorus. Maybe those half beats make the song a little more interesting. If nothing else, this song is god damn addictive. Even my 2 year old son keeps singing it. Maybe it's just all of the above, mixed together to create something not good, but just something that makes my ears perk up when it comes on. And THAT'S what I don't understand. How not everyone ears perk up when they hear this. Sometimes you can love a song just because it's different from the other shit out there. Ugh like that seriously awful Jason Derulo song "Talk Dirty". Oh I fucking hate that song and I don't like him so much. But the music is so interesting and cool that I just block out the lyrics, keep the station right where it is, and listen to the music :)

*Everytime I think of or see the world Clueless my brain immediately starts playing the movie in my head. I think I've seen that Alicia and Stacy movie way too many times :D

Saturday, June 28, 2014

The Mommy Headache

When I got pregnant, I was so excited to be a mother. It felt like I was being initiated into the most prestigious club. Well... it's kinda like that. Like the prestigious club that exists in 80's teen movies where everyone is nice to everyone's face but actually hate each other. Ok... maybe that's a slight stretch but after having my kids, I felt so much pressure from moms that it stressed me out! I'd never dealt with such a judgmental bunch on that level before. After some time, I gained confidence in being a mom and realized that you can't listen to all those moms, you have to do your own thing. THAT'S what makes you and your family happy.

Good mommy Kim

So when I hear about Kim and Kanye letting their child go on a plane with a nanny, security guard and assistant or Madonna letting her teenager drink or Beyonce letting her child go out with natural hair that's not perfectly coiffed or Mariah going to the park with her kids in a fancy dress... I just roll my eyes and ignore. No one knows about these families and how they work so why judge by a few pictures or rumors? You don't know how happy these children are or aren't.

Good mommy Beyonce

Dear lord people probably think my kids are super unhappy if they only saw pictures of them outside. They usually end up throwing some kind of fit about something or other when we're out. I've had family come talk to me saying I need to clean my house more because they didn't understand how I was constantly cleaning but my two kids were also constantly destroying. It just got so annoying we didn't want others around. We got incredibly happy kids and incredibly stressed parents constantly trying to make everything perfect and everyone was just seeing what was wrong.

Good mommy Madonna

My point is STOP JUDGING!!!!! No one is perfect and everyone has a different way of raising their kids and that's not bad it's just different. Beyond that, we all have questionable parenting moments. Can we please just stop the mom shaming? We have it hard enough as it is.

Good mommy Mariah

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Goings On

My husband asks me, “guess what the kids drew on the walls?”
Their death sentence apparently…. I’m just like “It better be fucking awesome” get some good art on the walls instead of scribbles and poop.
They drew XD…. An X and a D. Those assholes…. Now, I can’t be mad. Maybe I should be angry because they didn’t draw this: 

In other serious news: I went to the doctor today. I wasn’t sure what’s been going on with me, my feet have been swelling, i've been husband has been baffled as well. Well, my doctor said that I’m the illest. Cuz I’m suffering from what they call realness. Or if I listen to my kids, I’m just crazy. Whatever.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Love and Zombies

Last night I kept having nightmares. I actually slept pretty well and am rested for the first time this week, but those dreams bothered me so much I had to tell my husband about them. He actually made up for that total fail of a romantic moment from last time:

Me: One was about you not wanting to be with me. I don't remember the specifics but it was awful. The second one was about zombies. There was zombies everywhere and we were trying to get away

Hubby: I want to be with you always, hun I survived pregnant with twins michelle, even on your bad days nothing compares to warpath michelle. I love you and everything about you

Hubby: Zombies, thats a different story

Hubby: if it's any consolation our kids would gets us killed in the opening minutes of the outbreak

J I wasn’t really worried too much about that nightmare being real. In fact, I think I’m more worried about a zombie apocalypse than him leaving me. But it was nice to have such a great confirmation. What’s even more funny is that his response reminded me of one of my all time favorite quotes, one that he hates.
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
Marilyn Monroe
This is what that means and why women love it. We’ve been through shit. We haven’t always liked each other all of the time. I’ve had my days where I’ve made his life hell and vice versa. But we weather every storm together. I give him the best of me because he puts up with the times where I can’t give him the best of me and when he deserves the worst of me… or at least I think he does. He doesn’t call me awful names, he doesn’t physically hurt me, he doesn’t make try to make me feel like crap or put me down or make me feel less than. So yeah, he gets Super Michelle J

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Friday- Take Me Away!

I’m trying so hard to keep busy at work when there’s literally nothing to do. Oh and they most certainly look at what you’re doing online. Which, to me, would be fine. It’s not like I’m going to Pornhub on here (or anywhere for that matter. My porn days are pretty much behind me). So nothing questionable, not even facebook even though we totally have access to it. However, every damn time I start browsing the net, my boss will come over and be like “if you don’t have anything to do, then you can go home.” In the most nice way possible. Like no, I don’t want to have a smaller paycheck thank you. But if you could give me some work to do that’d be nice. Please stop keeping me in this tiny bubble like I can’t handle more.
Anyway, so I’m trying to find things that make me look busy even though I could stare at the wall and not miss a beat of work. I’m extremely tired of Mahjong, which I never win. I’ve completely customized my desktop and all apps that I use. I’ve looked through all the shared folders and stuff just to learn more stuff (which instantly leaves my head once I close it). I’ve tidied up rooms, my desktop, my desk. Updated everything that could be updated. But here I am… writing. I have nothing against writing. In fact, as long as I have something to say, this is perfect! But it’d be nice to be doing some kind of work. Just now and then, work slowly rolling in. Instead of this complete dead stop that it’s been doing for weeks now.
Thank god my husband and I can text at least. I’d blow my brains out due to pure boredom if I couldn’t.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Just Lose The Spice

When my husband and I were just dating, we would do this sickening sweet thing about talk about how much we loved each other. We agreed that there was no actual word for our love. We loved each other so damn hard that there was nothing to capture how much. He said the day he finds the word would be the day we got married. Well… we got married anyway but never found the correct word to express our love. To be fair, we’ve been busy making and raising babies.
 So today, bored at work on Memorial Day where barely anyone is here and no one is really doing anything…. I StumbleUpon’d this word: Tuqburni. Arabic meaning: you bury me] A love so deep you can't imagine life without your partner
Excitedly, I texted my hubby. I reminded him of our vow to find the word that accurately describes our love. Then told him “I tuqburni you.”
 The response?
“where did you find that?”
“do you think it would be stupid to get a coke?”
“nice find.”


I just held on to a special, romantic, sweet memory and followed through with our lovers promise of finding that word that took years to find. I expressed my deep love and cherishment of you. And all you can say is “nice find” after asking me about coke.

The only way I could’ve made that more romantic is if I gave him 5 dozen roses, recited our vows first and then got on one knee and asked him to marry me again now that I found the word that expressed my deep love and affection for him. And that’s all I got? *sigh* We’re definitely out of the romance phase forever. He might as well have farted right after that. For all I know he did. SMH How disappointing :/